


"Dark Paradise"

by turntechmakarahead



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:02:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechmakarahead/pseuds/turntechmakarahead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>read it and weep</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dave Strider.

Typical teenage boy.

Typical weakling.

Standing in the doorway of Bro's old bedroom, staring at the bed intently, anxiously waiting for the blankets to move, for a soft grunt of realization that you exist.

There was nothing.

Nothing.

NOTHING.

You fall to your knees and sit in silence.

Accepting the darkness, accepting the quiet.

Accepting that you haven't slept in five days.

Accepting you haven't eaten in a week.

Accepting...

Bro had to move.

He had to be in there.

He was always in there.

You hug your knees to your chest and shake as you press your face into them.

You never wore your shades anymore.

What point was there, you hadn't turned the lights on in over a month.

No one came to see you, you didn't  need to hide from anyone because you hoped someone would end you.

But who goes looking in a dark empty apartment for someone.

Your phone vibrates beside you a good five times before you finally pick it up and stare blankly at the message.

:Hey kid.:

You blink, what did  _he_ want.

You don't answer him.

You simply stare at the phone and wait patiently for Bro to text to you, call you, anything.

Anything.

Anything was worth more than nothing.

:Kid? Kid I know you saw my message I can see it on my phone. If you're going to ignore someone do it right.:

There was no point in trying to hide it.

He already knew you weren't okay.

He already knew you weren't talking to anyone.

:Don't call me kid.:

Is all you can manage to answer.

What were you supposed to say to him?

:Well what am I supposed to call you? You're a kid. Unless you're some freak Benjamin Button case. Dave. Are you secretly 72?:

You huff heavily, how could he joke around right now.

:You know I'm 17. Quit being stupid.:

:How am I being stupid? At least I'm communicating with people you hermit.:

You sigh and shake, you do communicate.

Whether or not the air you end up screaming at answers is another story.

:C'mon Kid lemme take you out. Get you some dinner, There's no way you have food in there anyways.:

:No.:

:Kid c'mon seriously you need to eat.:

:I'm fine.:

:Do you think he'd want you to act like this?:

You don't answer.

:Don't you think he'd want you to eat? C'mon Dave. For him. One ten piece. If you're still hungry I'll get you whatever you want.:

You sit for a long time. 

How could he talk for Bro?

Just because he looked like him didn't mean he could have a say in his emotions.

Though you do have to admit he was right.

Bro would kill you if  he knew you were doing the things you do.

Well, you know you he knows.

But it's impossible for him to do anything.

You just want him proud of you, you don't want to be a disappointment anymore.

:Fine.:

:Good cause I'm out front get a move on lazy.:

You drag yourself off the floor and to your bedroom cramming on your shades, a beanie, and a hoodie with your skinny jeans and low tops before stumbling out the door and standing blinded by the sun.

You manage to get down the stairs and over to him and his ninja.

He shoves a helmet at you and you get on behind him shakily wrapping your arms around his waist as he speeds off.


	2. "Mr. Owl Ate My Metal Worm"

You zone out to the numbing sound of the motorcycle humming beneath you.

Your arms loosely around him.

You didn't want to clutch him, that was embarrassing and pathetic and you couldn't handle the only person you truly had left that understood you and put up with you like Bro did rejecting you.

He comes to a stop light and looks back at you slightly, not saying a word just staring at you as you stare at the road, at your shoes, at your legs, then finally at the sky.

That was where you always looked, you'd always go out onto the roof at night and stare at the stars, questioning them sometimes, but others you'd just talk to them.

You probably looked insane to the ones watching you but it made you feel better to talk to him, with the hopes that maybe he'll be standing in the doorway, his arms crossed with the widest smirk on his face, make some comment about "Are you this lonely that you have to talk to oxygen?" and you'll get up faster than anyone could imagine and tackle him down the stairs.

You usually ended up asleep on the roof though, and awake in your bed somehow with the thought that you probably just managed to get yourself downstairs.

Finally he starts to go again and you focus back on reality, watching all the cars go by, staring at the scenery and he stops suddenly, forcing your body to shove into his and your arms to wrap tight around him before he starts going again and you just know he's smirking but you don't move away from him.

You grip him tighter, and press closer to him desperate for contact, for some sort of affection and attention and when he finally gets to McDonald's he doesn't get off until you do.

He waits patiently for you to be done clutching him and you finally get off, pulling your helmet off as he does and he wraps his arm over your shoulders as he pulls his off with one hand and walks with you inside, pointing on the menu for the nuggets and paying before walking you to the back booth and sitting with you, shoving the food at you.

You don't touch it, you don't even acknowledge it, you just sit in the silence with him.

Maybe, if you just don't eat, he'll sit with you forever.

Maybe.

He grunts softly and nudges them at you more and you slowly look down at the box creeping its way across the table into your vicinity.

You raise an eyebrow softly and he smirks. 

"Kid, eat."

You stare at him in silence. 

Why did he always call you kid.

He knew your name.

He knew who you were.

He knew you weren't a kid.

It made no sense.

You brush it off though and open the box, slowly grabbing a nugget and analyzing it.

"It's not going anywhere."

You don't answer, you just keep staring at it, sniffing it slightly.

"Dave, it's not going to turn into a smurf and slap you."

You glance at him sharply, and even though you're wearing shades he gets the hint to stop picking.

You both sit silently before finally you take a bite and your stomach lunges up your chest to get it before you're even done chewing causing you to hiccup immediately.

You shove the food away, shaking your head rapidly as you keep hiccuping and he sighs.

"Dave you have the hiccups because you haven't eaten, eat the rest, seriously, if you finish these I will leave you alone about it." 

You immediately shut the box and stare at him and he raises an eyebrow testingly.

You just keep staring at him and he sighs.

"Dave, please don't do this." 

You tremble and he sighs again, heavier.

"Do you want to just go home?"

You immediately cram another nugget in your mouth and he smirks.

"Don't wanna be alone huh?"

You say nothing.

"Oh I see, the silent treatment. How could you do this to someone who bought you food?"

You just stare at him while you eat and shake.

Just tell him you idiot.

There's no harm in asking.

It's not that hard to open your mouth.

"Uh.."

Uh? 

UH?

Really?  
REALLY?

That's all you can manage?

an UH?

You idiot.

"Hm?"

He raises an eyebrow and it takes everything in you not to cry your eyes out.

"Uh.."

STOP IT.

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF YOU PATHETIC MORON.

"Will you stay with me?"

what? you think to yourself

"What?" he says softly

Great, at least now you're on the same page 

"I don't think I should be alone, y'know since I'm a kid and all."

"Oh, well that makes sense. Sure. Just gotta get my stuff and bring it over."

huh? 

"Huh?"

Wow you sound as dumb out loud as you do in your head.

"Well if I'm staying with you I need items. To live Dave. Do you want me to die?"

You don't say anything again, you just look at your lap and he immediately shuts up.

"Wrong words, my bad, yea I'm moving in kid. Need my crap."

You shake and you see his feet move before he's shoving into your booth beside you

"Dave."

You don't answer.

"Daaaave."

He leans closer.

"Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave."

You still don't do anything and by now he's right up in your face.

"..................................Dave."

You try not to laugh as he shoves his tongue in your ear.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Dave! There's no need to yell! Calm down mister, your temper is out of hand, if you can't control yourself I don't know if I want to live with you."

"You stuck your tongue in my ear you weirdo!" 

You scrub at it with your palm as you struggle to get the nasty wet feeling out of your ear.

"Dave, your anger issues need work. I may need an adult living with you......or you're going to need one."

"What?"

"Nothing. Eat your lunch." 

"But-"

"Butts are for sitting Dave. Eat your lunch or I'm not staying with you."

You do as your told and hope to whatever's listening that he doesn't get up and move.

 


	3. "Diet Mountain Dew"

He sat beside you the whole time, waiting patiently for you to investigate the nuggets and eat them, smirking softly as you practically inhale the food like your life depends on it.

It practically did.

When you finally finish your food he raises an eyebrow, staring at you.

"Fries?"

You stare shamefully at your lap and he tilts your chin up.

"Hey, there's no need to be ashamed. You're practically nothing..you're hungry, that's okay. Alright?"

You shake hard, not wanting him to stop touching you, not wanting him to pull away.

Wanting to just lean in..

"Do you want fries?" 

He asks again, snapping you back to reality.

"uh.."

Are we serious right now.

More of this Uh.

You settle on  nodding.

What even was talking anymore.

You didn't want to talk to anyone but Bro.

He nodded once and got up, waiting patiently for you to be at his side.

You frown, you are not a dog.

None the less you waste no time in standing up and walking beside him, blushing when he offers his arm to you and you wrap your arms around it tightly.

He doesn't judge you, he doesn't pull it away laughing, he just moves it closer to him and takes his time walking to the counter with you right by his side clutching his arm.

He silently orders fries for you and walks back with you to the table, setting them with you as you eat them and he sits right back beside you.

You finish your fries silently and it takes you the entire walk to the motorcycle to realize you were still clutching his arm.

He hands you your helmet and you pull it on staring at him as he pulls on his and sits with you waiting for you to wrap your arms tight around him and shove your body against his. 

You take forever to get the hint and when you wrap your arms tight around him you feel your whole face heat up.

Blushing pathetically as you cling to him tightly and sigh.

What if Bro saw you?

Would he get mad?

Would he be even more disappointed in you?

Would he hate you?

it was bad enough you failed him day in and day out and the thought of him hating you for this killed you.

You were selfish and pathetic and you couldn't control yourself.

You find yourself pressed close against him as he drives you back to the apartment and he sits for a minute before you slowly get off and he raises his visor.

"I'm gonna go get my crap and the viper okay? I'll be right back. Don't leave the door unlocked just put a key under the mat and yea. Okay kid?" 

You stare at him blankly before nodding slowly and you drag yourself up the stairs and inside.

Back into your dark apartment.

Back into your hole of pity and despair.

You do as you're told, leaving a key under the mat and locking the door.

You don't wait for him though.

There's no way he was coming back.

You go back to where you were, sitting in the doorway of Bro's room, taking your shades off and staring into the darkness of his room like always.

Waiting.

Like Always.


	4. "Young and Beautiful"

You shake as you let the darkness consume you.

Your mind numbing as you stare blankly into nothing hoping that something will happen.

You get up, starting to cry as you wander the house.

Seeing the next closest thing to Bro then realizing you will probably never see him again killing you.

Killing something that is already dead is very hard.

Not impossible.

As you wander the house you feel your sanity start to slip from your mind.

Looking around and slowly but surely you start to check rooms, under beds.

Desperately searching for something that isn't there.

"Bro?" you call softly as you look under his bed.

You try not to disturb the blankets but you push around on the bed and whine.

"Bro get up.."

Nothing.

Always nothing.

You look in his closet, feeling around and pushing past the boxes and smuppets.

"Bro seriously c'mon."

You grope at the clothes, a waft of his scent punching you in the face and that's when you snap.

Any hope that you were not insane quickly deleting itself from your mind.

"BRO STOP HIDING FROM ME."

You bust into his bathroom, tearing the curtain open.

"STOP IT."

Nothing.

No answer.

"I KNOW YOU'RE THERE."

You open the hall closet.

"I hate hide and seek..you know that.."

You shove into the closet bumping into the wall, your heart racing with excitement.

"Bro?"

You touch the cold surface before realizing your disappointment and you sigh, stumbling out and back into the hall.

As you make your way into the living room you start to get angry and fed up with his antics.

"BRO I'M NOT JOKING. I know you're there I know you hear me...stop it.."

You grab at your head screaming as you shake.

"STOP IT!"

You stare at the couch, hoping he's there, screaming again when he's not there.

You effortlessly look through your room for him.

"This isn't funny anymore..."

You sit on the floor screaming and sobbing, yelling at the emptiness, at the silence, to stop.

To stop playing games, to stop trying to scare you.

The door opens.

You don't listen to it.

You were just hearing things.

You shake as you look for Bro's gun.

Things are set down in the kitchen.

"Dave?"

"..This isn't real, none of it's real.."

"Dave?"

Dirk peers down the hall slightly.

"Why are all the lights off?"

He walks towards you and you just scream curling in a ball as you clutch the pistol in your hands and point it at your head, hyperventilating.

"DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT BRO STOP."

He tenses, his blood running cold as he starts flash stepping towards you.

"Dave?.." 

His voice is shaky but you don't really hear it.

"If you won't come out..I'll go find you.." 

"Dave please.." 

He kneels by you but he's not really there.

He was never there.

He gently slides his hand up your arm, sitting down beside you slowly.

"Dave..Dave sweetie look at me.."

You stare into the darkness.

His hand comes up your wrist, and his fingers curl over yours, gently holding the gun as he starts pulling it away from you.

You don't fight him, you just let go and he quickly moves it out of reach.

"Dave?...Dave it's me Dirk...look at me.."

You slowly turn your head and he sighs with relief, pulling you into his chest as he clutches you close trembling softly.

"Why did he run away from me...why is he hiding.."

"....Dave...you know he's not hiding...you know he'd never run away from you.."

"But he did he ran away because I'm a failure...I'm a disappointment.."

You sob into his chest.

So what if this wasn't cool.

So what if you were weak.

Pathetic.

This felt..right.

The older male pressing your body closer into his as he presses his face into your soft hair.

"Dave...he is so proud of you..I know he is...I'm sure he'd give anything to be back here to hold you..to comfort you..you can't give up like this...he needs you to be strong, I need you to be strong.."

You tense.

Proud?

How could someone be proud of a failure.

"You don't have to do this alone anymore...alright? I'm here..I got you...I'm not going anywhere kid.."

You stare up at him silently for a long time.

"My name's Dave. Not kid."

He pets you gently, and you know he's smirking at your remark.

"There we go..that's better, do you feel a little better?"

"How can I? How can I deserve to not be alone..I'm just a pathetic kid.."

"No. You're Dave. And you're perfect. You got me?"

You nod shakily and he smirks, picking you up over his shoulder and grabbing up some of Bro's blankets and a pillow.

"STOP..YOU CAN'T TOUCH HIS STUFF..YOU CAN'T.."

He just silently carries you to the couch, make a large fort of Bro's things and he dumps you in it.

"Just be quiet and huff this while I figure out where those freaking lights are."

You do as you're told, rolling over to huff the needed scent of Bro as the lights one by one are turned back on.


	5. "Summertime Sadness"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case some of you don't know  
> the chapters are named after songs.  
> This particular song i felt really really fit dirk and dave on mostly dave's part.  
> So heres the link :  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvVctICqq8c  
> <3 i encourage you to listen to it if not while you read,  
> at least before.

You wake up staring at the living room ceiling, laying on the floor by yourself with Bro's jacket strewn across your chest.

Groggily, you rub at your face and whimper at the bright, unusual light in your face. 

Stumbling across the living room you smack the light off and sigh in relief, a soft grunt replying from the hallways.

You jump, looking as hard as you can down the dark passageway, your heart racing as your mind sets you off to the best of thoughts.

As you make your way down the hall you try your hardest not to let your hoping get the best of you.

"Dave why did you turn the damn light off?"

Dirk calls as he walks past you into the living room, turning the light back on and you stand silently.

Staring into the hall as it slowly goes into the darkness of your apartment.

You say nothing as you disappear into your room.

You sit on the floor and shake as you stare at nothing, you should have known better than to get your hopes up, every time you do you're always let down.

Yet you never learned your lesson.

You kick off your shoes and grab at a towel, staring at your computer and the red box that said the most horrifying thing.

"32 new messages"

32 new messages?

What? 

Who wanted to talk to you THAT badly.

You rub your eyes before stupidly clicking on the box.

What were you thinking?

  
if you even responded to one, they'd all explode.

Carefully you look through the messages, scrolling slowly as you stare at the screen.

As you keep going you see a message from KarKat.

KarKat Vantas.

He was cool you had to admit, nice, on occasion, better than most, but still annoying when he got into his ranting.

You decide to click on his message, he at least wouldn't spend the whole time going off on you about how "Suicide is not the answer."

Babbling on and on about how you're "not alone."

And then there's your personal favorite which goes along the lines of:

"It's going to be okay, we understand." 

Hypocrites.

Liars.

Especially John.

You haven't talked to him in a month.

You couldn't.

What were you supposed to say? 

"You put the game in and now my universe is gone. But that's okay man we're still best bro's because you know how I feel."

He did NOT know how you felt.

You were NOT best bro's.

It is NOT okay.

Rose just kept talking about how you can't blame him, how it wasn't his fault.

You had half the mind to go kill Kanaya right in front of her and make her feel like a worthless pathetic disappointment that couldn't protect herself let alone the one she loved.

Then tell her it wasn't your fault.

Yea you'd be punched in the nuts.

Jade did the same.

"John feels bad."

"John misses you."

"He's sorry."

You didn't feel bad.

You were done.

With all of them.

You were alone and the one person who understood you was the red blooded troll who too lost it all and felt like a disappointment.

Granted he had Mituna.

They were fuck ups together.

You had no one.

A clone of Bro and the voices in your head telling you to end it.

There's a knock on your door, soft but stern and you sigh, not moving an inch.

:DAVE. LOOK I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU HADN'T DONE ANYTHING. I'M NOT GOING TO PREACH TO YOU. I SWEAR. JUST PLEASE, ANSWER ME. PLEASE.: 

You blink and stare at it intently, partially because you were a little lost in the ideas you were getting of "Anything"

:I'm alive.: 

You'd lie to everyone, telling them how okay you are, but KarKat.

What point was there?

Of all people he knows.

The knock gets louder and finally your door just shoves open.

"Dave I don't really care what you do, it's YOUR house, all I ask is you leave your door open. okay?"

You can't argue.

After your...episode..the other night he had a right to want to make sure you weren't dangling from the ceiling.

"Dave."

You don't even turn to him.

"Dave seriously."

You just stare at your computer.

He sighs heavily, and you can tell he's getting annoyed.

"Dave all I want is an answer, Cmon kid why is it so hard to talk to me. I know I'm not him but.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tense hard and without even turning you stand up, you rip the cord to your computer out and you throw the keyboard at him.

"Stop. comparing yourself to HIM. Just because you LOOK like him doesn't mean you get the same TREATMENT. i DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU."

You throw the computer at his head.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, LEAVE. GET OUT. YOU'LL NEVER BE HIM. WHY DID I EVEN ASK YOU TO STAY YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM. EVER, WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK FOR HIM. TO TALK AS IF YOU KNEW HIM. YOU SELFISH PRICK. I CAN'T STAND YOU. I CAN'T STAND THE WAY YOU LOOK LIKE HIM THE WAY YOU BREATHE LIKE HIM AND WALK LIKE HIM. STOP EXISTING. IT'S NOT FAIR HE HAS TO GO AND YOU AND YOUR SORRY SELF GETS TO WALTZ AROUND LIKE YOU'RE THE NEXT BEST THING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE NOT AND I HATE YOU. I HOPE YOU DIE."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You zone back in to reality and blink as you realize you weren't paying attention at all to anything he was saying.

You still don't say anything and he grunts lowly.

"Fine. You don't want to talk or listen to me? Then fine. I'll be back later tonight." 

He slams the door and leaves angrily and you're left staring at the computer.

Disappointment.

Just like always.

Alone.

Just like always.

You get up with your towel and walk to the shower like a zombie, striping and stepping in more as a routine fashion than anything and you shake as you stand under the hot water.

You listen silently for anything and after about twenty minutes there's nothing.

There was always nothing.

You grab your box opener and sit on the floor, tearing yourself to pieces like always.

You lean back when you decide you've done enough and stare at the wall, washing what you can before stepping out. 

You walk into the kitchen and grab some of Bros's insomnia pills.

How ironic.

You could die by something that's meant to help.

You take enough to sleep for a while, enough to lower your heart rate. 

Enough to be dead without really dying.

And you pull on some clothes, sitting silently on the couch and waiting for sleep or Dirk.

Whichever comes first.

 

 


	6. "Without You"

The door swings open and Dirk heavily steps in, the smell of alcohol and pot drowning the entire room and you silently stare at him.

He steps towards you silently, and shuts the door grinning as he locks it.

"You're up."

You just stare and he flops on the table in front of you.

"What're yuh doin?"

You keep your mouth shut and stand up, going into the kitchen and you make him coffee silently, getting some pain medicine to start getting it in his system for the headache he'll have in the morning.

You sit on the end of the couch and offer it to him, and he stares at the pills.

"no thanks got nuff drugs y'know?"

You just push your hand at him more, insisting he take the pills.

He grunts and snatches them out of your hand, throwing them on the floor and raising an eyebrow.

"No means no David."

You blink, your name wasn't David.

Nowhere on your birth certificate or records did it say David.

You offer him the coffee and he smacks at it, the coffee spilling all over you and you jump as it burns into your cuts.

Quickly you stand up and try and avoid the steaming hot clothes on you.

You take the cup into the kitchen, jumping when he shoves up against you.

"Dave why do you hate me?"

You don't say anything.

"You won't even talk to  me and I didn't do anything."

You try and move out from under him, flinching when he grabs you and shoves you against the wall.

"Quit being a brat."

You don't say anything and he slams you harder into the hallway causing you to cough and see stars as you hit your head but you continue to keep quiet.

"You're so selfish you asked me to stay and you can't even get over yourself to talk to me? You're so stupid and pathetic. No wonder you couldn't save Bro."

You flinch, that hurt, a lot, but you just close your eyes and keep quiet and he punches you hard in the jaw, throwing you on the floor and kicking you and you gag.

You continue not to say anything and as he sits on the floor and starts going to sleep, grumbling about he wished he'd never said yes to staying with you and you just stare at him.

Crying silently as he sleeps soundly.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You slowly wake up to Dirk gently shaking you, his face filled with concern as he tells you not to move and he starts helping you sit up enough to wipe your face.

You stare at him for a long time before sighing in relief that he was at least somewhat sober.

You stare at him as he cleans up your face and shakes.

"I'm so sorry Dave I'm so sorry please forgive me I don't know what came over me I can't believe I did that I don't even remember what I said i just woke up from a headache and saw the mess and your clothes were wet and you were unconscious and bleeding and I'm just so sorry.."

You shake and say nothing, starting to open your mouth but instead you just sigh and stand up, going back and making him another cup of coffee and getting him more medicine, silently sitting back down and offering it to him.

He stares at it before staring at you, then the pills on the floor and the cup at the sink.

"Can you at least tell me what happened..?"

"You got drunk."

"...Oh."

"And high."

"...."

"And you came home and you were upset because I won't talk to you."

"Yea.."

"I knew you were drunk..and high..so I offered you medicine...and coffee.."

"..uh-huh?.."

"And you called me David, threw the pills on the floor, and smacked the coffee all over me."

"Dave I'm-"

"When i went to clean up, you called me names and shoved me into the wall until I saw stars."

"...I.."

"Then you hit me."

"...what?.."

"And threw me down."

"Dave I.."

"Then you kicked me. And went to bed talking about how you wished you never said yes."

By now the color in his face was gone and he backed away from you slightly.

"I'm so sorry...i'll stay away from you..okay? You can do whatever you want I'll sleep in here and you can have the rest of the house I'm sorry.."

"It's okay.."

"I'm-...what? Dave this is NOT okay I hurt you.."

"You were drunk.

"That's not an excuse Dave!"

"And your feelings were hurt.."

You move closer to him.

"Dave that still doesn't excuse me hurting you.."

"..Your heart hurt because I won't talk to you..so you did what you thought would fix it.."

"Dave that's bullying.."

"You aren't a bully."

"Then what am I? Dave I ABUSED you. That is not okay..or excusable at all...no matter what..I'll never forgive myself for hurting you I can't believe I did that I'm so selfish.."

"You don't have to forgive yourself because I forgive you. Look at yourself, you're all worked up because of something you don't remember..it hurt..a lot..your words hurt more than your fist did but..it's okay.."

You move into his lap and he flinches.

"Dave please..stay away from me..I can't hurt you again."

"You wont.." 

You wrap your arms around his chest, and slowly press your face into his shoulder, huffing him softly and you don't move an inch, you don't say a word.

You just hug him and clutch him like he's the reason you're okay.

Finally, he slowly wraps his arms around you and holds you close, petting you as he kisses your temple, rocking you as he holds you tight and possessive in his chest.

"I swear I'll never hurt you again..I'll never leave I'll never drink I'll never sm-"

You kiss him hard to shut him up, gripping his shirt as move into a deeper kiss and he blinks, staring at you when you pull away.

"Dave..?"

"I don't like getting my hopes up...just show me..."

He gently brushes his fingers along your cheek, gently touching your jaw before he nods in understanding, and kisses you soft and gentle in agreement.

"More actions...less words...got it.."


	7. "Flesh"

He lifts you slowly and carefully, carrying you back to your room and closing the door smoothly as he lays you down on your bed.

You whimper, staring up at him as he moves away and you make a sound of protest which is replied by a shit eating smirk.

"Calm down kid, I'm coming back.." he pulls his shirt off and you huff softly.

"Dave."

He raises an eyebrow as he gets it over his head revealing his gorgeous toned body, and he grunts.

"What?"

You bite your lip as you blatantly check him out. 

It wasn't fair, he was so perfect and you were..well..you.

You open your mouth to talk before realizing you've been sitting there mouth agape for a good two minutes.

"It's Dave. My name's Dave."

"I know what your name is..it's just funny to get you all frustrated." he smirks again before pressing against you, sliding his hand up your shirt and you squirm.

He carefully pulls it off of you and you whimper again, trembling as he slowly slides his hands along your thighs.

"Wait..." you grab his wrists, trembling as he kisses you deeply, grinding his chest against you as he slides his tongue over yours, completely dominating you.

Hiccuping softly, you relax, opening your mouth for him and you go slack beneath him as presses his hips to yours, keeping a steady rhythm of grinding into you.

Your hands on his wrists, barely even on him but he doesn't move them an inch, keeping them where you stopped them as he slowly and steadily makes out with you.

His taste sends you to cloud nine as he pants softly into your mouth, tilting his head as he grinds into you a little harder, slowly moving his hand up your lower back to press your body up into his.

You mewl softly as you arch into him, rubbing up his toned strong arms before you find his shades and you slowly take them off, flinching when he takes off yours and for a moment you just stare at each other.

It was partially sickening how much he resembled Bro.

His eyes the same exact color, but not to a Tee. 

Bro's were more of a hazel, an orange shade, Dirk's had more of a golden tint to it.

Like someone poured gold and honey together and carefully carved it into his gorgeous eyes.

Yours were just red.

Scarlet.

Demonic.

You tremble as he kisses you deeper, silently hushing you as you touch his face and tangle your hands in his hair and he mumbles softly against your lips.

"You're  beautiful okay?" 

You whimper, kissing at him more wantonly than before as you nudge at his jaw, 

"Okay.."

He slowly slides his hands down your sides, holding your hips up to his and grinding into you again, kissing you more heated and passionate and you let out a small whine.

Bro and you always played a game where you had to hush and the longer you stayed quiet the better you got.

Dirk was different.

He liked your sounds.

Every noise you made and breath you take driving him that much farther into his desire for you.

His body hot against you as he shakes gently, you can't tell if it's your sorry ass trembling enough for the two of you or if it really was him shaking just the slightest.

He curled his fingers into your jean brims and pulls your hips closer to his, pulling at your jeans and you whine grabbing him again.

"Hm?"

He hums as he marks up your neck, mouthing hotly along your shoulder and chest with his gorgeous mouth.

"Not yet I'm not ready.."

He pauses for a minute, before nodding and sliding his hands back up your sides, feeling you up as he grinds into you and continues to mark you up completely claiming you.

"I got you okay..? It's okay, this is all you. All your comfort and speed okay?"

You nod as he kisses you full on and lays beside you, pulling you into his chest and kissing over the dark marks decorating your skin.

"You're mine now okay?"

You nod shaking as  you squirm against him, his voice not helping at all.

"Do you want that?.." 

You bite his neck hard, sucking on him as you slide your tongue along his neck, drawing out a long, hot moan of your name before you look at him and grin.

Not caring who sees it, or if he judges you.

"See? My name's Dave. Not kid."


	8. "Miss. Jackson."

Dirk gently shakes you awake, smiling softly as you rub at your face whimpering softly.

"Huh?" 

He smirks at you softly before helping you up, handing you your shirt and you pull it on staring at him as he leaves your room.

You follow him curiously watching him as he shoves a bowl of macaroni salad at you and smirks.

Silently, you sit on the couch and eat, staring at him as you eagerly stuff your face with the much missed nutrients called food.

He blinks for a minute before looking at you.

"Dave?"

You perk up slightly at the soft voice, looking down the hallway non chalantly before you move more and look back at him, blinking into reality.

"Hm?"

He sighs softly and watches you for a minute before sitting across from you.

"I have a very important question."

You glance at him slightly, still trying to inhale your food.

"Can it wait?"

"No."

You whimper, setting the bowl down and looking at him.

"Okay.."

He takes a deep shaky breath looking all around the room at the pictures of you and Bro, at your necklace, still covered in Bro's blood, at the spot on the couch you refuse to sit on, a Tab can on the arm of it with the remote, you not minding at all manually switching channels.

"Dave...when you see me.." 

He looks at you slowly, watching you intently.

"What do you see?"

You tilt your head, what the hell did he mean what do you see?

You see a face? And hair? A man?

You shrug.

"You?"

He sighs and shakes his head.

"No Dave..when you look at me..do you see me as Dirk..or Bro..?"

You blink, getting absolutely sick to your stomach.

He looked just like him, of course you were going to see Bro.

But it's not like every time you look at him that's all you see, some things are like Bro, but you know very well Dirk is Dirk, and Dirk is not and never will be Bro.

You blink slightly before looking at him seriously.

"Well I mean..obviously I'm going to see him when I look at you but...-"

He sighs, standing up and looking at you, and he just looks so hurt, so offended by that.

"No. I don't want to hear anymore."

You whimper, going to talk but he grunts.

"Dave just shut up. I need time alone. Don't come looking for me."

He grabs his shades and keys and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

You squirm slight, he had to be joking, right?

Where was he going to go?

You stare at the door for an hour, then two, then three.

He hadn't come home at all.

You start to get nervous, panicking as you grab at your phone.

:Dirk. Where'd you go?:

No response.

:Dirk?:

Seen, but ignored.

You whimper softly and call him, flinching when he sends it to voicemail.

You start crying, trembling as you struggle to catch your breath.

You were so stupid, and pathetic.

Who even answers a question like that.

You always fuck things up.

You're such a worthless piece of shit.

You sob as you just keep calling him and calling him, tearing yourself apart more so than before and he finally answers.

"What." he grumbles, and the second you go to talk, you know he knows.

He just falls quiet as you gasp for air, he listens to you as you completely break down into the phone.

"Please come home..please..."

He just sits there.

"Dirk please I need you!"

Still no reply.

"You didn't let me f-finish...Of course I s-see him! You look just l-like him..but I know y-you're not h-him! Dirk please...I need you..please...I need YOU not because you look like him..but because you're  YOU..please Dirk..I can't be a-alone anymore please don't leave me please.." 

You choke and cough, you were a horrible Strider.

You weren't strong like you promised you would be, you were weak and empty.

Nothing to fight for anymore.

He sits for a minute before sighing softly.

"Dave..I can't stay with you if all you see is him..I can't live up to that.."

You start to hyperventilate, wheezing as you struggle to focus, as you struggle to breathe.

You crumble to the floor setting the floor down as you scream and cry, grabbing at your head and sobbing. 

The dark feeling of being alone, of being a fuck up start consuming you and you let yourself drown, no longer caring to fight it.

It was all your fault, you broke it, you ruined everything.

You  try so hard to stop crying but  you can't even stop tearing  your legs apart, let alone stop being a pathetic crap wad.

You shake as  you just stop breathing, unable to calm down and you pass out on the floor, sitting in your own blood as you shake and lay unconscious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You wake up on the couch, your legs bandaged up and your head in Dirk's lap as he gently pets you and cards through your hair.

You whimper and stare at him intently before he sighs softly,

"Please don't ever do that again..I swear to you I will never walk out that door again if you swear you'll stop hurting yourself..if you swear to calm down.."

You nod slowly shaking as you try to focus on what happened.

"You scared me to death.."

He kisses you tenderly, cradling you in his chest as he rocks you slow and steady


	9. "C'mon"

You stare at the older Strider as he makes you a sandwich smiling softly as he offers it to you, encouraging you to eat and you stare at him before shyly eating it.

He grins at you happily and pets you lovingly, flopping beside you.

"Okay so, do you wanna go out?"

You stare at him intently blinking as you tilt your head and stare at him.

"Huh?"

"Y'know like go see a movie or some shit."

You stare at him, did he mean like a date? 

Or like two guys hanging out.

"Like..."

"Like a date Dave. Jeeze how dumb are you? Too busy thinking about my dick to study for school?"

"What does school have to do with knowing what the fuck you're talking about half the time..?"

"You're not denying thinking about my dick. So is that a yes?"

"Is what a yes? The school part or the date part?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"No."

"No what?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You said yes!"

"I said yes?"

"Yes!"

"Geeze Dave I didn't know you were so anxious to go out with me, but if you insist then fine go get dressed."

You blush brightly and stare at him, frowning softly in disbelief.

You go to say something but shut your mouth and do as you're told, getting up and going to your room to get dressed, spraying yourself down so you don't smell like feet in public and you go brush the funk off your teeth.

After fumbling with your hair and getting it just right and shoving on your shades you walk back out to him and shiver softly at the look he's giving you.

Blatantly looking you over and checking you out, biting his lip as his eyes linger on certain parts of your body, his shades only covering where exactly he's looking.

After squirming under his gaze you finally go back over to him and shoves the sandwich back at you.

"Eat on the way." 

You nod slightly and go outside with him, a new car in the drive way.

A cherry red Lamborghini sitting in your drive way and you stare at him in complete shock.

He just smirks, unlocking the car and opening the door for you and you flop in the seat, buckling in and taking a bit of your sandwich as he sits beside you.

He starts driving down the road and as you finish your sandwich you go right back to staring at him.

"Dave, if you need a picture of me I will send you one."

You sigh softly.

"You stared at me."

"Did I?"

"Yes, you did."

"Oh, well then Dave, if it bothered you so much why would you do it back? That's a little hypocritical don't you think?"

"I never said it bothered me."

"So you like when I stare at you like I could fuck you where you stand?"

"Wait what?"

"Hm?"

"What did you just say?"

"Gosh Dave, if you like me so much you'd think you would listen more."

He grins at you and you look away from him, grumbling softly and he leans over, kissing you hard.

You jump, smacking at him to drive before realizing you're at a stop light, and you eagerly melt into him gripping his shirt as you kiss him back with everything you have, whimpering when someone honks at him to go and he reluctantly pulls away, going back to driving to the movie theater offering his hand to you and you grab it tightly, holding it in your lap as he smirks and gently rubs his finger against your thigh. 


End file.
